WordsWednesday

 

“It’s amazing how a little tomorrow can make up for a whole lot of yesterday.” –J. Guare

 

…well I’m not riding off into the sunset on my train just yet, but so far my blood work has confirmed a pregnancy!!!!! (as have 2 home tests because, how could I not?!) The husband and I are overwhelmed with happiness, it is hard for me to find the words. But, we are also aware that we’ve been here before and while positive pregnancy tests and HCG’s going in the right direction are something to celebrate, they do not promise a baby. So today, we celebrate what we have and look forward to our ultrasound on the 30th. My motto right now is to take this all one day at a time…and thus far they’ve been really great days.

3 down, 6 to go. (But who’s counting?)

Well we’re officially in the 9 day wait.

Transfer day was uneventful. The two weeks prior to transfer I kept having issues with my estrogen level (one day it was 766 and 3 days later it was 94) so my doctor kept changing the number of patches I was wearing and increasing the frequency of bloodwork and eventually he decided to add oral estrogen as well. I found this to be slightly stressful, but at the same time worrying about my estrogen levels served as a fairly simple distraction from worrying about our transfer. (In truth the estrogen number wasn’t that important as my lining was at 12mm and it really only needs to be greater than 8mm). By the day of transfer my number was well above the 200 mark they told me the body needs for implantation so everything worked out with that.

With regards to transfer day: I woke up early, did yoga and tried to get myself in a very relaxed mindset. My transfer was scheduled for 1030am, but the nurse came in at 1025am and told me our doctor had been called upstairs for an emergent ultrasound, so me (and my full bladder) would have to wait. Now, last year is this had happened I am 100% sure I would have been freaking out, complaining about my bladder, getting myself worked-up and anxious….but this year…well I just sat there with my husband quoting lines from ‘The Office’ and when I started to feel uncomfortable from my bladder, we reenacted the Bluth family being chickens on Arrested Development. (Has anyone in this family ever even seen a chicken!?) Mind you, I recognize this is a very weird way to spend your time, but the husband and I wanted to laugh and these things make us laugh. By the time our doctor came in (closer to 11am) I was still in my happy/calm/Zen place.

When we went into the procedure room for the transfer the nurse commented on my especially full bladder (glad to know I still excel at that hah) and started the ultrasound. When my doctor came in he took over the ultrasound in order to find the perfect spot to have her hold the probe and said “Sorry, I’m going to be a little anal-retentive today…I cannot begin to tell you how hard Meghan here has worked for these embryos.” It was a simple comment, but it meant a lot to me in that moment to know he recognized how important this transfer was for me and Dan.

So here we are 4 days in…research says if one (or two) of these embryos are going to implant they’ve done it by now. So now I spend the week just trying to keep my mind peaceful, my body relaxed and my heart optimistically hopeful. (But if this train could hurry up and get me to Sunday that would be awesome.)